Tag Archives: dating

Stand Out

Social media. Dating apps.  Texting. Sliding into the DM.  Is anyone getting asked out proper anymore? I am (fairly) low maintenance and this is not about expensive dinners and lavish gifts.  In our culture of convenience dating, if you want to stand out , it will take minimal effort.  I know I am not alone feeling this way,  so I’m going to give a few quick tips to help us all out.

1) Hand Gestures: I am all about technology to promote my business and stay top of mind with an occasional flirt, but we all need to remember that the device practically attached to our hands can actually make calls.  If we just met,  how do I know that I want to sacrifice an hour of my life that I will never get back if we have never spoken?  When most guys are just blowing up my texts and DM’s , it is the one who makes the nice gesture and calls who gets my attention.  No pressure to have an extensive conversation as I know we are all way too busy for that, but calling to say hi is such a rare occurrence, it will get you upgraded to weekend plans status.

2) Face Facts:  Face Timing is tricky. While I think it is a “do” after I have been out with someone, and especially important if it is a long distance situation, it can easily be a “don’t”.  I will never understand the random FaceTime attempt  if I am not dating a guy regularly, nor will I ever pick it up.   It is intrusive and, keeping it 100, I may not want you to see me after I just got home from leg day at the gym.

3) WYD:  While I appreciate the interest in my current activity, are actual words too much to ask ?  I am an intelligent woman. I can read. So feel free to spell it out otherwise prepare for an eye roll emoji as my reply.

4)Pic Requests: If I wanted to send them to you, I would have. So if you have to ask, the answer is no.  You will just have to wait until we are together to find out just how perfect they really are.

5)Match my Hustle: There is nothing sexier than a guy who is doing what he loves and making s**t happen. It is also more likely he will understand the demand of what I am doing as well.  I will still let him take the lead and be the man..in fact, I will welcome a break from decision making like where and when to meet.  Also, I love it when a guy is a gentleman and offers to pick me up.  That says a lot about respect level and good intentions. It’s not a deal breaker if I have to Uber myself, but the time in the car is a great opportunity to see if we like the same music. So important!!!

Ok so what are your thoughts on these things? Ladies, do you agree? What would you add to this list? Guys, show of hands, who of you are out there are making these efforts? I can assure you, they will be much appreciated and also rewarded.  But guys, if you are and are not getting these efforts reciprocated, you should keep trying until you find someone who does. xo

IMG_2331

Let’s get social! Follow me on Instagram @glamandsassy

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Advertisements

Act your Age

Hello Glam & Sassy loves! I don’t mind being honest about my age and admit that I am not living a life that is typical of someone in their forties. As a single female entrepreneur, my days aren’t scheduled around carpools and soccer games. I have more freedom in that regard and I am very focused, hard working, driven and compassionate.   However, as much as I have tried to stay quiet and at home (aside from working, working out, and the necessary mani/pedi/tan rotation) my infatuation with my city still lures me off of my couch from time to time.  One of those times was this past weekend. I really felt like getting dressed up and getting out.  Did you ever feel like that? It was fun for sure, but I also learned a few things, so now I consider this blog “note to my future self contemplating what to do on a Friday”.

The night started off like every other. Gym, shower , get ready, change outfits five times then switching to my evening handbag before heading out the door. With my beautiful bestie in tow, we went to our  favorite spot, Mastro’s,  to grab a cocktail and light dinner at the bar. It has such fun energy and cool vibes and we always manage to meet new friends.  Mastro’s is in Beverly Hills and we live here so everyone wants to talk to us. The fact that my BFF is blonde, funny, smart and gorgeous may also have something to do with it! The night could have ended after our yummy salads and the best dirty martinis in LA at the respectful hour of 11ish. But it didn’t. We got an invite with our new friends to go to a club and maybe it was the martinis talking, but we said a resounding YES and with that we were out way past my current bedtime of 10 o’clock .  There was even a Taco Bell pit stop on the way home even though no tacos were actually eaten. The next day while struggling on the stair master,  I made some silent observations to myself.

IMG_2278
Mastro’s martini and my fun Louis Vuitton handbag

Observation #1: Expensive silk blouses and nightclubs don’t mix.  My final outfit choice was based on dinner and drinks out at a classy establishment. No where in my future did I see myself pushing my way through crowds of twenty somethings until 2am.  Yet there  was my luxurious black silk top on the floor next to my YSL heels with spill marks on the back. Luckily, I have a great dry cleaner that will remedy that.  However, I should have worn something that I have from H&M that is a bit more disposable.

IMG_2284
The before photo of my fave silk blouse from W by Worth.
Observation #2: If your age starts with a “2” I am NOT interested.  Some women may find this flattering. I find it absurd. I realize I was out among the Millennials, however, I was there with a group of friends my own age…ok close enough to  my own age.  The same applies for dating apps , which, for the record, is the reason I am not on any of them. My age is right there in black and white, boys. Pay attention and while I am sure you are mature for your age as you all claim to be, I do not have any desire to find out. Act your age and I’ll (try) to act mine.

Observation #3: Upon waking up, immediately review your Instagram story.  This is very important. As the night goes on, content seems more post worthy than it actually is.  It is never anything inappropriate as I always keep a clear head no matter how late I stay out. But the roses purchased by the random guy from the vendor outside of the venue need not be documented. Especially since they didn’t even make it home with me and I don’t even know his name.   (notice no photo insert here of meaningless flowers)

So, as another weekend approaches, I look forward to time with my girlfriends and getting outside to enjoy a hike or the beach.  Sadly, I don’t have my dog to walk anymore. She was the best reason and reminder to get me out from in front of my computer and outside a few times a day. I still need to do that even though she is gone and I am making that my latest effort in dealing with her passing.  And the next time I am out for a classy dinner , I will be sure not to end up at Taco Bell.

IMG_0776-2
I miss walking in Beverly Hills with my pup
What lessons are you learning as you go through life especially if you are single in a city? I would love to hear about it and compare even if your zip code isn’t 90210.  Let’s get social! Find me on Instagram @glamandsassy !

 

 

Simple Math

Hello Glam & Sassy loves.   I came across an interesting quote online that said “When things aren’t adding up, it’s time to start subtracting”.  I have been giving this a lot of thought lately. As it turns out, I have subtracted a few things from my life, and a few things have been subtracted from my life.  That may sound like the same thing, but I assure you , it is not.  The act of doing the subtracting holds much more power and control than having something taken away.

If you read my last blog, and thank you to the many amazing friends and followers who did , then you know I recently had to say goodbye to my dog. Yes I am still writing about her and no I am not over that yet.  Just as there is an equation that it takes half the time you were with someone to get over them in a breakup,  I am pretty sure the same holds true for pets… and probably even longer because their love is so pure.  Since my dog was almost seventeen, which in human years is over 100, I will no longer be alive by the time I no longer miss her. Simple math.

IMG_1314

On the other hand, choosing to subtract something is liberating and puts you in control of purging the unnecessary chaos in life.  It has been helpful to eliminate anything that no longer serves me or my goals.  However, first I needed to define what my  goals are so I can determine what is contributing versus taking away from them. I am going through an awesome challenge called “Life on Fire” . I took a step believing in the power of visualization and made my first vision board. I felt silly at first as I flipped through a stack of fashion and lifestyle magazines , but couldn’t help but notice the congruency of the words and images that resonated with me and how they all fit together into my big picture. It is now clear when I am engaging in something (or someone) that doesn’t fit into one of those buckets and bid it farewell with confidence. The attention that these things require become an energy suck and I don’t know about you, but I do not have any extra energy to be donating. I now reserve my positivity and loving spirit for family, friends, clients, peers, the stranger on the street who returns my smile… anyone who reciprocates and appreciates.

IMG_2064
Vision board in the making = goals about to be achieved

In  my personal life, I was scuba diving in the dating pool.  It was fun but now it doesn’t fit my vision of who I am and who I want to share myself with.  I was married young so I was reliving lost years but at what risk? The risk of losing more valuable time? The math is simple. When I decided to be done with all that, it opened up my heart and mind for the right guy when he comes.  In my professional life, I am at a crossroads which I did not see coming and had no control over, but instead of freaking out (which I ABSOLUTELY did at first) , I see it as an exciting opportunity to set new goals and crush them. I have done this before. Twice. I just had to remind myself of that.

_MG_7731
Glam and Sassy fashion show team-GOAL CRUSHED
IMG_2066
Featured 5 page article in Entrepreneur Magazine-GOAL CRUSHED

 

In summation,  one disenchanted relationship  + one painful goodbye to my pup+one lost business opportunity = zero tolerance for wasted energy.  Math was never my forte. Until now.

 

IMG_2067

Do you have a vision board? I’d love to hear how you are achieving your goals.  Let’s connect on Instagram @glamandsassy 

 

 

 

Changing the Game

Hello Glam & Sassy loves. Not sure if you noticed, but I have taken a hiatus from writing this blog. It was a timing thing at first, but then a lot of unexpectedness happened that made me take a look at my life, my priorities and where I have been exerting most of my efforts.  None of them bad, but as much as I love what I do as an entrepreneur and focusing on fashion, I feel motivated to explore other topics.  We never stop learning and growing and I want to share some of my latest experiences in case you can also relate. When the old way is no longer working, it’s time to start changing it up.

IMG_6824

A year ago, I moved to LA from San Diego which on your GPS doesn’t seem like such a big deal, but it actually was more of an adjustment than my move from Jersey to California eight years prior. Like most things, I jumped right in and even recall a few mornings that I was reflecting on the antics of previous nights and committed to dialing it back.  “I feel like I moved to Vegas because there is something epic to do every night and you can’t discern a Tuesday from a Saturday from inside of a club”, I heard myself telling my friends over and over. So what exactly was I looking for ? Honestly, just a good time . I am a social butterfly by nature and love having fun to offset how hard I work. I was constantly meeting different people and I quickly learned that everyone comes to LA for something.  If the energy was good, I exchanged.  It didn’t matter what race, profession, age, or height.  Without even trying, I was dating on steroids which was fun at first, but then became a means to an end to find someone who was not like all the rest. We live in a very self-absorbed culture where plans aren’t really plans until they happen which means the following criteria must be met: 1) Another (more alluring) offer didn’t come in the  meantime and 2) it must be convenient with little to no effort.  I found myself also adhering to those rules until I decided it was more fulfilling to stay home with my dog. Until that changed…

The one thing that any pet parent fears the most just happened to me. I had to make the painful decision to put my 17 year Pekingese, Mugsy, to sleep. I still get anxiety thinking about those days and hours leading up to it.  I can’t even go into the details because it is so traumatic. I miss her every day and it feels like I lost an extension of me, of my soul. She was the one constant in my life when everything else was always changing. I suppose if you take anyone’s life and dissect 17 years from it at any point in the timeline, you would see a ton of change. But for me, those 17 years included most of the big ones… getting engaged, married, started  businesses, sold businesses, divorce, moved across the country alone and then moved to LA to start all over again, all over again.  The only solace I can find , and if you have gone through this, or ever do go through this, first let me say how sorry I am because it was the hardest thing I have ever had to do, but secondly, there is peace in knowing she is no longer suffering. My puppy will always be with me. I talk to her throughout the day like a crazy person.  I am not sure when I will get another one. I am a dog lover so it is not if but when. Is it ok to get the same dog and name her Mugsy too (as in Mugsy two)?

IMG_8188

Immediately after that happened, I hopped a flight back east (where I grew up) which will always be home to me, and it was the best thing I could have done.  I needed to get out of LA and out of my empty apartment.  However, I found out you cannot hide from the chronic sadness from this type of loss… not even 3000 miles away.  I was able to start healing with the help of an incredible support system of family and friends. I have amazing friends in CA. They are my sisters. My fellow independent women who are working and hustling and searching like me and have been by my side through so much.  Back east, I have friends since high school and everything in life leading up to this point in time.  Some people enjoy to think in the stillness of nature, but I think most clearly in the chaos of the city.  So I spent time in NYC and ran around the entire tri state of NY/NJ/PA and somehow I managed to out run the dark cloud of depression from losing my dog and chose to focus on how blessed I am to have people who love me all over the place.

IMG_1301

It was here that I found new priorities. Yes, a career is important and necessary, but I took this time off and I am still doing just fine.  Work is also very replaceable. People are not. Take care of the people in your life who take care of you. Love yourself so much that you have love overflowing to give to others.  That is such an incredible gift you can share with someone and I don’t just mean the ones who are easy to love. Really stretch yourself to offer a listening ear, a donation, your time, anything ,to a person you see in need of it. Chances are they were brought into your path for a reason.  Also, know your worth…especially dating in this crazy single culture.  Here is a PSA to the single guys out there. Enough with the games already. If you want to see me, make it happen. If you want to get to know me, ask me questions.  And if you really aren’t sure, then stay in your own lane because I just lost the one thing I loved the most in this world, yet my mind and my heart are clear and I don’t need someone’s bad energy junking it all up. Lastly, have a glass of champagne for absolutely no reason at all except that it is delicious and you will feel more Glam & Sassy with every sweet sip. Cheers !

IMG_0644

 

Have any of you had similar experiences or lessons learned?  I would love to hear about them and maybe be the person who encourages you.  Also, let’s connect! Find me on IG @glamandsassy.

 

 

 

 

The Girlfriend Experience

Hello Glam & Sassy loves.  Did you know it is only 55 more days till Spring?  That is the good news. The bad news is we have to first survive the most painful day of the year between now and then. It comes in February and no it is not Groundhog Day as I would surely endure six more weeks of winter a lot easier than I can this bullshit holiday called Valentine’s Day. If there were any way to eliminate it from our lives, I would be all for it. Now you may think I have such a strong dislike for the day which is February 14th because I am single. Or am I?  Single or not, I refuse to put pressure on myself or my partner to make a fuss over each other just because the stores are pushing retail sales in the form of a red heart. I deserve to have a fuss made over me everyday and I absolutely do the same in return.  Besides, haven’t we all noticed by now that the service and food on this night are hurried and mediocre at best, and all that candy makes me have to work out even harder to be beach ready. So what would I rather be doing on this day besides putting on a red dress and getting overpriced flowers?  I am not sure yet, but I can tell you it won’t be sitting across from someone looking at his phone while I am looking at mine and wishing we were somewhere else. I want attention but I want it organically. The kind that pours out of one person and into the other because you can’t seem to give it or receive it enough. Did I get your attention yet? Good. Welcome to my world of being Glam & Sassy.

Follow me on IG: https://www.instagram.com/glamandsassy/

and on Snap @Glamandsassy

snap

Breaking Up

Hello Glam & Sassy loves!  We have all been through it. The dreaded break up.  Whether you were the break up-er or the break up-ee, it is never easy at the time.  Luckily, we eventually get over it and it makes for a good story at parties.  My worst break up was the equivalent to the episode of Sex and the City when Berger breaks up with Carrie on a Post It note. However, instead of a post it, mine was via text. At 8am. Right before I was boarding a flight from CA to NJ. So not only was I devastated by the blindsided dumping, I also had to suffer in silence on a 5 1/2 hour flight as to not have my row mates think I was some crazy chick AND with no communication to the outside world.  I mean, if there is ever a time a girl needs to cry to her bff or get anti heartbreak advice from  mom, this was it. It was so awful at the time, but now, I laugh about how pathetic it was and here I am blogging about it!  Just as relationships reach their expiration date, so do some items in our closets.  Keep reading for a few looks that are ready to be kicked to the curb.

Gray Area:

In our closets, much like relationships, there shouldn’t be any unknowns.  If you are wondering if a particular top has seen better days, then it is probably time to retire it.  Also, if any formerly white tees or tanks are looking dull, please replace with a crisp new version.  Anything that has lost its luster just isn’t worth taking up valuable real estate in your closet. I love this poly peach tank from W by Worth styled with destructed denim and wedges. The fabric feels so amazing on my skin and the color is “Optic White” with a brightness that shines!

IMG_4831
Finding the perfect match is reason to celebrate!

Sole Mates:

Sometimes in life, no matter hard you try to repair something, after a while you realize you just have to bid it adieu. The same goes for shoes. If heels are worn down or soles are scuffed beyond their red recognition, to the goodwill they must go. I know it is difficult when you are so attached and they are oh so comfortable, but comfort isn’t reason enough to keep something in your life.  And who knows, your old footwear faves may find a new owner that is happy with them.  See, you did something good for someone else and now you have an excuse to bring home the ones you have been eying up for weeks now. My all time favorite shoe is the YSL Tribute .  They are perfect with everything from denim to dresses, desk to dancing. As every mate should be.

IMG_2769
YSL shoe porn

Use it or Lose It:

The rule of thumb is if you haven’t worn something in a year, the chances that you ever will are slim. The reasoning behind this is, if it made you happy, you would’ve enjoyed showing it off by now. Life is too short to waste time thumbing through your closet through undesirable clothes.  To avoid this in the future, purchase investment pieces…classically chic fashions that are made well and that you will be able to wear year after year.  Some basic must haves are a versatile blazer, an all occasion dress, and flirty top to style with your favorite jeans.  Stay tuned next week for my blog on those essential items. Breaking up is hard, but looking Glam & Sassy is the reward… and the best revenge.

IMG_4554
Kiss my Glam & Sassy!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Date Night

Whether single or married, date night is a must!  It gets you out of the routine of  waking up, going to work, going to the gym, going to bed.  It also gives us ladies a reason to trade in our business casual attire for something fun and flirty.  After all, this is date night! You want him to forget about everything but you and you want to forget everything but you too! From dinner and a movie to dancing till dawn, embrace the party girl inside, and make it a night so good,  you’ll want to do it again and again. However, before you make your reservation on Open Table, let’s go through a list of Date Night must haves!

romper

The Look-Part 1:

Choose a dress or this season’s on trend romper that shows a little more skin or a top that that would never ever be appropriate for a business affair. Heels are a non-negotiable. Find ones that are comfortable so you can call it a night when you are ready, not because your feet are! These YSL heels which you can find at Nordstrom are my fave and I swear I could run a marathon in them!

Saint Laurent 'Tribute' T-Strap Sandal

The Look-Part 2:

You take time doing your hair and makeup, and even more time choosing the perfect outfit, and all for one reason. You want your guy to see you then gasp and smile like it is the very first time he laid eyes on you. If the first time he saw you was on your Tinder profile, then rest assured the look you get when you approach him in person, is the look he had when he right swiped. Take a moment and take it all in, and know that he is doing the same.  Also, when it comes to “the look”, the one you give him is equally important…across the table, during a giggle, on the dance floor etc. Confidence is the key to sexiness. Master your look, make it your own, and you will be enjoying many date nights to come.

Make it Last:

If everything goes according to plan, date night will involve activities that can ruin your perfect pout. I am referring to eating, sipping on your fave beverage (champagne of course!), and if all goes well, a kiss or two! I used to reapply lip gloss, on average, 28 times a night. I prefer the feel of gloss to its drier lipstick counterpart but it has zero staying power.  This is not a good quality for your date, OR your lip gloss! Recently while playing around at the Chanel counter in Nordstrom,  I was introduced to their long lasting lip color that feels like a gloss! For a mere $36, I have officially kicked my gloss habit! Way cheaper than gloss rehab!

CHANEL RÊVERIE PARISIENNE ROUGE DOUBLE INTENSITÉ Ultra Wear Lip Color

You’ve got your outfit, your look, and your makeup perfected. You are ready! Now grab your date, enjoy your night, and remember it is always more fun being Glam & Sassy!

Get it Here Guide:

Glam & Sassy romper

YSL Tribute T Strap Shoes

Chanel Ultra Wear Lip Color