Simple Math

Hello Glam & Sassy loves.   I came across an interesting quote online that said “When things aren’t adding up, it’s time to start subtracting”.  I have been giving this a lot of thought lately. As it turns out, I have subtracted a few things from my life, and a few things have been subtracted from my life.  That may sound like the same thing, but I assure you , it is not.  The act of doing the subtracting holds much more power and control than having something taken away.

If you read my last blog, and thank you to the many amazing friends and followers who did , then you know I recently had to say goodbye to my dog. Yes I am still writing about her and no I am not over that yet.  Just as there is an equation that it takes half the time you were with someone to get over them in a breakup,  I am pretty sure the same holds true for pets… and probably even longer because their love is so pure.  Since my dog was almost seventeen, which in human years is over 100, I will no longer be alive by the time I no longer miss her. Simple math.

On the other hand, choosing to subtract something is liberating and puts you in control of purging the unnecessary chaos in life.  It has been helpful to eliminate anything that no longer serves me or my goals.  However, first I needed to define what my  goals are so I can determine what is contributing versus taking away from them. I am going through an awesome challenge called “Life on Fire” . I took a step believing in the power of visualization and made my first vision board. I felt silly at first as I flipped through a stack of fashion and lifestyle magazines , but couldn’t help but notice the congruency of the words and images that resonated with me and how they all fit together into my big picture. It is now clear when I am engaging in something (or someone) that doesn’t fit into one of those buckets and bid it farewell with confidence. The attention that these things require become an energy suck and I don’t know about you, but I do not have any extra energy to be donating. I now reserve my positivity and loving spirit for family, friends, clients, peers, the stranger on the street who returns my smile… anyone who reciprocates and appreciates.

Vision board in the making = goals about to be achieved

In  my personal life, I was scuba diving in the dating pool.  It was fun but now it doesn’t fit my vision of who I am and who I want to share myself with.  I was married young so I was reliving lost years but at what risk? The risk of losing more valuable time? The math is simple. When I decided to be done with all that, it opened up my heart and mind for the right guy when he comes.  In my professional life, I am at a crossroads which I did not see coming and had no control over, but instead of freaking out (which I ABSOLUTELY did at first) , I see it as an exciting opportunity to set new goals and crush them. I have done this before. Twice. I just had to remind myself of that.

Glam and Sassy fashion show team-GOAL CRUSHED

Featured 5 page article in Entrepreneur Magazine-GOAL CRUSHED

 

In summation,  one disenchanted relationship  + one painful goodbye to my pup+one lost business opportunity = zero tolerance for wasted energy.  Math was never my forte. Until now.

 

Do you have a vision board? I’d love to hear how you are achieving your goals.  Let’s connect on Instagram @glamandsassy 

 

 

 

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Changing the Game

Hello Glam & Sassy loves. Not sure if you noticed, but I have taken a hiatus from writing this blog. It was a timing thing at first, but then a lot of unexpectedness happened that made me take a look at my life, my priorities and where I have been exerting most of my efforts.  None of them bad, but as much as I love what I do as an entrepreneur and focusing on fashion, I feel motivated to explore other topics.  We never stop learning and growing and I want to share some of my latest experiences in case you can also relate. When the old way is no longer working, it’s time to start changing it up.

I moved to LA from San Diego which on your GPS doesn’t seem like such a big deal, but it actually was more of an adjustment than my move from Jersey to California eight years prior. Like most things, I jumped right in and even recall a few mornings that I was reflecting on the antics of previous nights and committed to dialing it back.  “I feel like I moved to Vegas because there is something epic to do every night and you can’t discern a Tuesday from a Saturday from inside of a club”, I heard myself telling my friends over and over. So what exactly was I looking for ? Honestly, just a good time . I am a social butterfly by nature and love having fun to offset how hard I work. I was constantly meeting different people and I quickly learned that everyone comes to LA for something.  If the energy was good, I exchanged.  It didn’t matter what race, profession, age, or height.  Without even trying, I was dating on steroids which was fun at first, but then became a means to an end to find someone who was not like all the rest. We live in a very self-absorbed culture where plans aren’t really plans until they happen which means the following criteria must be met: 1) Another (more alluring) offer didn’t come in the  meantime and 2) it must be convenient with little to no effort.  I found myself also adhering to those rules until I decided it was more fulfilling to stay home with my dog. Until that changed…

The one thing that any pet parent fears the most just happened to me. I had to make the painful decision to put my 17 year Pekingese, Mugsy, to sleep. I still get anxiety thinking about those days and hours leading up to it.  I can’t even go into the details because it is so traumatic. I miss her every day and it feels like I lost an extension of me, of my soul. She was the one constant in my life when everything else was always changing. I suppose if you take anyone’s life and dissect 17 years from it at any point in the timeline, you would see a ton of change. But for me, those 17 years included most of the big ones… getting engaged, married, started  businesses, sold businesses, divorce, moved across the country alone and then moved to LA to start all over again, all over again.  The only solace I can find , and if you have gone through this, or ever do go through this, first let me say how sorry I am because it was the hardest thing I have ever had to do, but secondly, there is peace in knowing she is no longer suffering. My puppy will always be with me. I talk to her throughout the day like a crazy person.  I am not sure when I will get another one. I am a dog lover so it is not if but when. Is it ok to get the same dog and name her Mugsy too (as in Mugsy two)?

Immediately after that happened, I hopped a flight back east (where I grew up) which will always be home to me, and it was the best thing I could have done.  I needed to get out of LA and out of my empty apartment.  However, I found out you cannot hide from the chronic sadness from this type of loss… not even 3000 miles away.  I was able to start healing with the help of an incredible support system of family and friends. I have amazing friends in CA. They are my sisters. My fellow independent women who are working and hustling and searching like me and have been by my side through so much.  Back east, I have friends since high school and everything in life leading up to this point in time.  Some people enjoy to think in the stillness of nature, but I think most clearly in the chaos of the city.  So I spent time in NYC and ran around the entire tri state of NY/NJ/PA and somehow I managed to out run the dark cloud of depression from losing my dog and chose to focus on how blessed I am to have people who love me all over the place.

It was here that I found new priorities. Yes, a career is important and necessary, but I took this time off and I am still doing just fine.  Work is also very replaceable. People are not. Take care of the people in your life who take care of you. Love yourself so much that you have love overflowing to give to others.  That is such an incredible gift you can share with someone and I don’t just mean the ones who are easy to love. Really stretch yourself to offer a listening ear, a donation, your time, anything ,to a person you see in need of it. Chances are they were brought into your path for a reason.  Also, know your worth…especially dating in this crazy single culture.  Here is a PSA to the single guys out there. Enough with the games already. If you want to see me, make it happen. If you want to get to know me, ask me questions.  And if you really aren’t sure, then stay in your own lane because I just lost the one thing I loved the most in this world, yet my mind and my heart are clear and I don’t need someone’s bad energy junking it all up. Lastly, have a glass of champagne for absolutely no reason at all except that it is delicious and you will feel more Glam & Sassy with every sweet sip. Cheers !

Have any of you had similar experiences or lessons learned?  I would love to hear about them and maybe be the person who encourages you.  Also, let’s connect! Find me on IG @glamandsassy.