Act your Age

Hello Glam & Sassy loves! I don’t mind being honest about my age and admit that I am not living a life that is typical of someone in their forties. As a single female entrepreneur, my days aren’t scheduled around carpools and soccer games. I have more freedom in that regard and I am very focused, hard working, driven and compassionate.   However, as much as I have tried to stay quiet and at home (aside from working, working out, and the necessary mani/pedi/tan rotation) my infatuation with my city still lures me off of my couch from time to time.  One of those times was this past weekend. I really felt like getting dressed up and getting out.  Did you ever feel like that? It was fun for sure, but I also learned a few things, so now I consider this blog “note to my future self contemplating what to do on a Friday”.

The night started off like every other. Gym, shower , get ready, change outfits five times then switching to my evening handbag before heading out the door. With my beautiful bestie in tow, we went to our  favorite spot, Mastro’s,  to grab a cocktail and light dinner at the bar. It has such fun energy and cool vibes and we always manage to meet new friends.  Mastro’s is in Beverly Hills and we live here so everyone wants to talk to us. The fact that my BFF is blonde, funny, smart and gorgeous may also have something to do with it! The night could have ended after our yummy salads and the best dirty martinis in LA at the respectful hour of 11ish. But it didn’t. We got an invite with our new friends to go to a club and maybe it was the martinis talking, but we said a resounding YES and with that we were out way past my current bedtime of 10 o’clock .  There was even a Taco Bell pit stop on the way home even though no tacos were actually eaten. The next day while struggling on the stair master,  I made some silent observations to myself.

Mastro’s martini and my fun Louis Vuitton handbag

Observation #1: Expensive silk blouses and nightclubs don’t mix.  My final outfit choice was based on dinner and drinks out at a classy establishment. No where in my future did I see myself pushing my way through crowds of twenty somethings until 2am.  Yet there  was my luxurious black silk top on the floor next to my YSL heels with spill marks on the back. Luckily, I have a great dry cleaner that will remedy that.  However, I should have worn something that I have from H&M that is a bit more disposable.

The before photo of my fave silk blouse from W by Worth.

Observation #2: If your age starts with a “2” I am NOT interested.  Some women may find this flattering. I find it absurd. I realize I was out among the Millennials, however, I was there with a group of friends my own age…ok close enough to  my own age.  The same applies for dating apps , which, for the record, is the reason I am not on any of them. My age is right there in black and white, boys. Pay attention and while I am sure you are mature for your age as you all claim to be, I do not have any desire to find out. Act your age and I’ll (try) to act mine.

Observation #3: Upon waking up, immediately review your Instagram story.  This is very important. As the night goes on, content seems more post worthy than it actually is.  It is never anything inappropriate as I always keep a clear head no matter how late I stay out. But the roses purchased by the random guy from the vendor outside of the venue need not be documented. Especially since they didn’t even make it home with me and I don’t even know his name.   (notice no photo insert here of meaningless flowers)

So, as another weekend approaches, I look forward to time with my girlfriends and getting outside to enjoy a hike or the beach.  Sadly, I don’t have my dog to walk anymore. She was the best reason and reminder to get me out from in front of my computer and outside a few times a day. I still need to do that even though she is gone and I am making that my latest effort in dealing with her passing.  And the next time I am out for a classy dinner , I will be sure not to end up at Taco Bell.

I miss walking in Beverly Hills with my pup

What lessons are you learning as you go through life especially if you are single in a city? I would love to hear about it and compare even if your zip code isn’t 90210.  Let’s get social! Find me on Instagram @glamandsassy !

 

 

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Changing the Game

Hello Glam & Sassy loves. Not sure if you noticed, but I have taken a hiatus from writing this blog. It was a timing thing at first, but then a lot of unexpectedness happened that made me take a look at my life, my priorities and where I have been exerting most of my efforts.  None of them bad, but as much as I love what I do as an entrepreneur and focusing on fashion, I feel motivated to explore other topics.  We never stop learning and growing and I want to share some of my latest experiences in case you can also relate. When the old way is no longer working, it’s time to start changing it up.

I moved to LA from San Diego which on your GPS doesn’t seem like such a big deal, but it actually was more of an adjustment than my move from Jersey to California eight years prior. Like most things, I jumped right in and even recall a few mornings that I was reflecting on the antics of previous nights and committed to dialing it back.  “I feel like I moved to Vegas because there is something epic to do every night and you can’t discern a Tuesday from a Saturday from inside of a club”, I heard myself telling my friends over and over. So what exactly was I looking for ? Honestly, just a good time . I am a social butterfly by nature and love having fun to offset how hard I work. I was constantly meeting different people and I quickly learned that everyone comes to LA for something.  If the energy was good, I exchanged.  It didn’t matter what race, profession, age, or height.  Without even trying, I was dating on steroids which was fun at first, but then became a means to an end to find someone who was not like all the rest. We live in a very self-absorbed culture where plans aren’t really plans until they happen which means the following criteria must be met: 1) Another (more alluring) offer didn’t come in the  meantime and 2) it must be convenient with little to no effort.  I found myself also adhering to those rules until I decided it was more fulfilling to stay home with my dog. Until that changed…

The one thing that any pet parent fears the most just happened to me. I had to make the painful decision to put my 17 year Pekingese, Mugsy, to sleep. I still get anxiety thinking about those days and hours leading up to it.  I can’t even go into the details because it is so traumatic. I miss her every day and it feels like I lost an extension of me, of my soul. She was the one constant in my life when everything else was always changing. I suppose if you take anyone’s life and dissect 17 years from it at any point in the timeline, you would see a ton of change. But for me, those 17 years included most of the big ones… getting engaged, married, started  businesses, sold businesses, divorce, moved across the country alone and then moved to LA to start all over again, all over again.  The only solace I can find , and if you have gone through this, or ever do go through this, first let me say how sorry I am because it was the hardest thing I have ever had to do, but secondly, there is peace in knowing she is no longer suffering. My puppy will always be with me. I talk to her throughout the day like a crazy person.  I am not sure when I will get another one. I am a dog lover so it is not if but when. Is it ok to get the same dog and name her Mugsy too (as in Mugsy two)?

Immediately after that happened, I hopped a flight back east (where I grew up) which will always be home to me, and it was the best thing I could have done.  I needed to get out of LA and out of my empty apartment.  However, I found out you cannot hide from the chronic sadness from this type of loss… not even 3000 miles away.  I was able to start healing with the help of an incredible support system of family and friends. I have amazing friends in CA. They are my sisters. My fellow independent women who are working and hustling and searching like me and have been by my side through so much.  Back east, I have friends since high school and everything in life leading up to this point in time.  Some people enjoy to think in the stillness of nature, but I think most clearly in the chaos of the city.  So I spent time in NYC and ran around the entire tri state of NY/NJ/PA and somehow I managed to out run the dark cloud of depression from losing my dog and chose to focus on how blessed I am to have people who love me all over the place.

It was here that I found new priorities. Yes, a career is important and necessary, but I took this time off and I am still doing just fine.  Work is also very replaceable. People are not. Take care of the people in your life who take care of you. Love yourself so much that you have love overflowing to give to others.  That is such an incredible gift you can share with someone and I don’t just mean the ones who are easy to love. Really stretch yourself to offer a listening ear, a donation, your time, anything ,to a person you see in need of it. Chances are they were brought into your path for a reason.  Also, know your worth…especially dating in this crazy single culture.  Here is a PSA to the single guys out there. Enough with the games already. If you want to see me, make it happen. If you want to get to know me, ask me questions.  And if you really aren’t sure, then stay in your own lane because I just lost the one thing I loved the most in this world, yet my mind and my heart are clear and I don’t need someone’s bad energy junking it all up. Lastly, have a glass of champagne for absolutely no reason at all except that it is delicious and you will feel more Glam & Sassy with every sweet sip. Cheers !

Have any of you had similar experiences or lessons learned?  I would love to hear about them and maybe be the person who encourages you.  Also, let’s connect! Find me on IG @glamandsassy.

Letting Go

More Fun with a Friend!

Spring Fling

March is here! For those of you not living in the part of the country that is winter-less, I know you are rejoicing at another turn of the calender page! Before moving to San Diego, I remember March being the light at the end of a very cold, very snowy, tunnel. It is also a great time to refresh our closets and get rid of the things we hadn’t worn since the Nor’easter of ’03. But for those of you who have trouble “letting go”, as I admittedly sometimes do, here are a few guidelines.

1) Team up! If it is too painful to watch your first button down that was there for you through every job interview and fave go-to date dress, end up in the Goodwill bag, enlist a friend or two for moral support. Pop some champagne and make it a party!

2)Leave the past in the past! Still clinging on to that comfy sweatshirt that you acquired from your ex? Get rid of it! Out with the old, in with the new! (that goes for the guy too!)

3) The 1-2 year rule! We have all heard that if you haven’t worn something in 1-2 years, that it is time to recycle it, and I agree. However, there are a few exceptions such as a treasured couture piece that one day will be trendy because it is borderline “vintage”. Also, I strongly believe you can keep one article of clothing that you wore in college that still fits. Bragging rights, ladies. Bragging rights!

4) Alter it! People may not change, but clothes can! (yet another reason I love fashion)! If there is anything taking up valuable real estate in your closet that you are not wearing because it does not fit properly, get it altered. A good tailor can shorten, take in, nip, tuck…oh wait, that’s a good surgeon and I’ll save that for another blog, but you get the idea!

5)Work with a stylist! Speaking from experience, if you let us do our job without getting you feelings hurt when we tell you “those baggy pants with the pinstripes have got to go!” you will have a closet full of clothes you actually wear and enjoy and isn’t that that point of fashion and being Glam & Sassy?