Stand Out

Social media. Dating apps.  Texting. Sliding into the DM.  Is anyone getting asked out proper anymore? I am (fairly) low maintenance and this is not about expensive dinners and lavish gifts.  In our culture of convenience dating, if you want to stand out , it will take minimal effort.  I know I am not alone feeling this way,  so I’m going to give a few quick tips to help us all out.

1) Hand Gestures: I am all about technology to promote my business and stay top of mind with an occasional flirt, but we all need to remember that the device practically attached to our hands can actually make calls.  If we just met,  how do I know that I want to sacrifice an hour of my life that I will never get back if we have never spoken?  When most guys are just blowing up my texts and DM’s , it is the one who makes the nice gesture and calls who gets my attention.  No pressure to have an extensive conversation as I know we are all way too busy for that, but calling to say hi is such a rare occurrence, it will get you upgraded to weekend plans status.

2) Face Facts:  Face Timing is tricky. While I think it is a “do” after I have been out with someone, and especially important if it is a long distance situation, it can easily be a “don’t”.  I will never understand the random FaceTime attempt  if I am not dating a guy regularly, nor will I ever pick it up.   It is intrusive and, keeping it 100, I may not want you to see me after I just got home from leg day at the gym.

3) WYD:  While I appreciate the interest in my current activity, are actual words too much to ask ?  I am an intelligent woman. I can read. So feel free to spell it out otherwise prepare for an eye roll emoji as my reply.

4)Pic Requests: If I wanted to send them to you, I would have. So if you have to ask, the answer is no.  You will just have to wait until we are together to find out just how perfect they really are.

5)Match my Hustle: There is nothing sexier than a guy who is doing what he loves and making s**t happen. It is also more likely he will understand the demand of what I am doing as well.  I will still let him take the lead and be the man..in fact, I will welcome a break from decision making like where and when to meet.  Also, I love it when a guy is a gentleman and offers to pick me up.  That says a lot about respect level and good intentions. It’s not a deal breaker if I have to Uber myself, but the time in the car is a great opportunity to see if we like the same music. So important!!!

Ok so what are your thoughts on these things? Ladies, do you agree? What would you add to this list? Guys, show of hands, who of you are out there are making these efforts? I can assure you, they will be much appreciated and also rewarded.  But guys, if you are and are not getting these efforts reciprocated, you should keep trying until you find someone who does. xo

Let’s get social! Follow me on Instagram @glamandsassy

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Act your Age

Hello Glam & Sassy loves! I don’t mind being honest about my age and admit that I am not living a life that is typical of someone in their forties. As a single female entrepreneur, my days aren’t scheduled around carpools and soccer games. I have more freedom in that regard and I am very focused, hard working, driven and compassionate.   However, as much as I have tried to stay quiet and at home (aside from working, working out, and the necessary mani/pedi/tan rotation) my infatuation with my city still lures me off of my couch from time to time.  One of those times was this past weekend. I really felt like getting dressed up and getting out.  Did you ever feel like that? It was fun for sure, but I also learned a few things, so now I consider this blog “note to my future self contemplating what to do on a Friday”.

The night started off like every other. Gym, shower , get ready, change outfits five times then switching to my evening handbag before heading out the door. With my beautiful bestie in tow, we went to our  favorite spot, Mastro’s,  to grab a cocktail and light dinner at the bar. It has such fun energy and cool vibes and we always manage to meet new friends.  Mastro’s is in Beverly Hills and we live here so everyone wants to talk to us. The fact that my BFF is blonde, funny, smart and gorgeous may also have something to do with it! The night could have ended after our yummy salads and the best dirty martinis in LA at the respectful hour of 11ish. But it didn’t. We got an invite with our new friends to go to a club and maybe it was the martinis talking, but we said a resounding YES and with that we were out way past my current bedtime of 10 o’clock .  There was even a Taco Bell pit stop on the way home even though no tacos were actually eaten. The next day while struggling on the stair master,  I made some silent observations to myself.

Mastro’s martini and my fun Louis Vuitton handbag

Observation #1: Expensive silk blouses and nightclubs don’t mix.  My final outfit choice was based on dinner and drinks out at a classy establishment. No where in my future did I see myself pushing my way through crowds of twenty somethings until 2am.  Yet there  was my luxurious black silk top on the floor next to my YSL heels with spill marks on the back. Luckily, I have a great dry cleaner that will remedy that.  However, I should have worn something that I have from H&M that is a bit more disposable.

The before photo of my fave silk blouse from W by Worth.

Observation #2: If your age starts with a “2” I am NOT interested.  Some women may find this flattering. I find it absurd. I realize I was out among the Millennials, however, I was there with a group of friends my own age…ok close enough to  my own age.  The same applies for dating apps , which, for the record, is the reason I am not on any of them. My age is right there in black and white, boys. Pay attention and while I am sure you are mature for your age as you all claim to be, I do not have any desire to find out. Act your age and I’ll (try) to act mine.

Observation #3: Upon waking up, immediately review your Instagram story.  This is very important. As the night goes on, content seems more post worthy than it actually is.  It is never anything inappropriate as I always keep a clear head no matter how late I stay out. But the roses purchased by the random guy from the vendor outside of the venue need not be documented. Especially since they didn’t even make it home with me and I don’t even know his name.   (notice no photo insert here of meaningless flowers)

So, as another weekend approaches, I look forward to time with my girlfriends and getting outside to enjoy a hike or the beach.  Sadly, I don’t have my dog to walk anymore. She was the best reason and reminder to get me out from in front of my computer and outside a few times a day. I still need to do that even though she is gone and I am making that my latest effort in dealing with her passing.  And the next time I am out for a classy dinner , I will be sure not to end up at Taco Bell.

I miss walking in Beverly Hills with my pup

What lessons are you learning as you go through life especially if you are single in a city? I would love to hear about it and compare even if your zip code isn’t 90210.  Let’s get social! Find me on Instagram @glamandsassy !

 

 

Simple Math

Hello Glam & Sassy loves.   I came across an interesting quote online that said “When things aren’t adding up, it’s time to start subtracting”.  I have been giving this a lot of thought lately. As it turns out, I have subtracted a few things from my life, and a few things have been subtracted from my life.  That may sound like the same thing, but I assure you , it is not.  The act of doing the subtracting holds much more power and control than having something taken away.

If you read my last blog, and thank you to the many amazing friends and followers who did , then you know I recently had to say goodbye to my dog. Yes I am still writing about her and no I am not over that yet.  Just as there is an equation that it takes half the time you were with someone to get over them in a breakup,  I am pretty sure the same holds true for pets… and probably even longer because their love is so pure.  Since my dog was almost seventeen, which in human years is over 100, I will no longer be alive by the time I no longer miss her. Simple math.

On the other hand, choosing to subtract something is liberating and puts you in control of purging the unnecessary chaos in life.  It has been helpful to eliminate anything that no longer serves me or my goals.  However, first I needed to define what my  goals are so I can determine what is contributing versus taking away from them. I am going through an awesome challenge called “Life on Fire” . I took a step believing in the power of visualization and made my first vision board. I felt silly at first as I flipped through a stack of fashion and lifestyle magazines , but couldn’t help but notice the congruency of the words and images that resonated with me and how they all fit together into my big picture. It is now clear when I am engaging in something (or someone) that doesn’t fit into one of those buckets and bid it farewell with confidence. The attention that these things require become an energy suck and I don’t know about you, but I do not have any extra energy to be donating. I now reserve my positivity and loving spirit for family, friends, clients, peers, the stranger on the street who returns my smile… anyone who reciprocates and appreciates.

Vision board in the making = goals about to be achieved

In  my personal life, I was scuba diving in the dating pool.  It was fun but now it doesn’t fit my vision of who I am and who I want to share myself with.  I was married young so I was reliving lost years but at what risk? The risk of losing more valuable time? The math is simple. When I decided to be done with all that, it opened up my heart and mind for the right guy when he comes.  In my professional life, I am at a crossroads which I did not see coming and had no control over, but instead of freaking out (which I ABSOLUTELY did at first) , I see it as an exciting opportunity to set new goals and crush them. I have done this before. Twice. I just had to remind myself of that.

Glam and Sassy fashion show team-GOAL CRUSHED

Featured 5 page article in Entrepreneur Magazine-GOAL CRUSHED

 

In summation,  one disenchanted relationship  + one painful goodbye to my pup+one lost business opportunity = zero tolerance for wasted energy.  Math was never my forte. Until now.

 

Do you have a vision board? I’d love to hear how you are achieving your goals.  Let’s connect on Instagram @glamandsassy 

 

 

 

Changing the Game

Hello Glam & Sassy loves. Not sure if you noticed, but I have taken a hiatus from writing this blog. It was a timing thing at first, but then a lot of unexpectedness happened that made me take a look at my life, my priorities and where I have been exerting most of my efforts.  None of them bad, but as much as I love what I do as an entrepreneur and focusing on fashion, I feel motivated to explore other topics.  We never stop learning and growing and I want to share some of my latest experiences in case you can also relate. When the old way is no longer working, it’s time to start changing it up.

I moved to LA from San Diego which on your GPS doesn’t seem like such a big deal, but it actually was more of an adjustment than my move from Jersey to California eight years prior. Like most things, I jumped right in and even recall a few mornings that I was reflecting on the antics of previous nights and committed to dialing it back.  “I feel like I moved to Vegas because there is something epic to do every night and you can’t discern a Tuesday from a Saturday from inside of a club”, I heard myself telling my friends over and over. So what exactly was I looking for ? Honestly, just a good time . I am a social butterfly by nature and love having fun to offset how hard I work. I was constantly meeting different people and I quickly learned that everyone comes to LA for something.  If the energy was good, I exchanged.  It didn’t matter what race, profession, age, or height.  Without even trying, I was dating on steroids which was fun at first, but then became a means to an end to find someone who was not like all the rest. We live in a very self-absorbed culture where plans aren’t really plans until they happen which means the following criteria must be met: 1) Another (more alluring) offer didn’t come in the  meantime and 2) it must be convenient with little to no effort.  I found myself also adhering to those rules until I decided it was more fulfilling to stay home with my dog. Until that changed…

The one thing that any pet parent fears the most just happened to me. I had to make the painful decision to put my 17 year Pekingese, Mugsy, to sleep. I still get anxiety thinking about those days and hours leading up to it.  I can’t even go into the details because it is so traumatic. I miss her every day and it feels like I lost an extension of me, of my soul. She was the one constant in my life when everything else was always changing. I suppose if you take anyone’s life and dissect 17 years from it at any point in the timeline, you would see a ton of change. But for me, those 17 years included most of the big ones… getting engaged, married, started  businesses, sold businesses, divorce, moved across the country alone and then moved to LA to start all over again, all over again.  The only solace I can find , and if you have gone through this, or ever do go through this, first let me say how sorry I am because it was the hardest thing I have ever had to do, but secondly, there is peace in knowing she is no longer suffering. My puppy will always be with me. I talk to her throughout the day like a crazy person.  I am not sure when I will get another one. I am a dog lover so it is not if but when. Is it ok to get the same dog and name her Mugsy too (as in Mugsy two)?

Immediately after that happened, I hopped a flight back east (where I grew up) which will always be home to me, and it was the best thing I could have done.  I needed to get out of LA and out of my empty apartment.  However, I found out you cannot hide from the chronic sadness from this type of loss… not even 3000 miles away.  I was able to start healing with the help of an incredible support system of family and friends. I have amazing friends in CA. They are my sisters. My fellow independent women who are working and hustling and searching like me and have been by my side through so much.  Back east, I have friends since high school and everything in life leading up to this point in time.  Some people enjoy to think in the stillness of nature, but I think most clearly in the chaos of the city.  So I spent time in NYC and ran around the entire tri state of NY/NJ/PA and somehow I managed to out run the dark cloud of depression from losing my dog and chose to focus on how blessed I am to have people who love me all over the place.

It was here that I found new priorities. Yes, a career is important and necessary, but I took this time off and I am still doing just fine.  Work is also very replaceable. People are not. Take care of the people in your life who take care of you. Love yourself so much that you have love overflowing to give to others.  That is such an incredible gift you can share with someone and I don’t just mean the ones who are easy to love. Really stretch yourself to offer a listening ear, a donation, your time, anything ,to a person you see in need of it. Chances are they were brought into your path for a reason.  Also, know your worth…especially dating in this crazy single culture.  Here is a PSA to the single guys out there. Enough with the games already. If you want to see me, make it happen. If you want to get to know me, ask me questions.  And if you really aren’t sure, then stay in your own lane because I just lost the one thing I loved the most in this world, yet my mind and my heart are clear and I don’t need someone’s bad energy junking it all up. Lastly, have a glass of champagne for absolutely no reason at all except that it is delicious and you will feel more Glam & Sassy with every sweet sip. Cheers !

Have any of you had similar experiences or lessons learned?  I would love to hear about them and maybe be the person who encourages you.  Also, let’s connect! Find me on IG @glamandsassy.

Birthday Celebration

Hello Glam & Sassy loves! October is my absolute favorite month. As soon as Starbucks posts Pumpkin Spice everything on the menu board, I am ready to pull out my Uggs, light candles that smell like I baked an apple pie, and pretend it is actually fall weather outside in Southern California. The other and REAL reason I love October, is it is my birthday month!  (Insert whoo hoo!)  This year I had the best birthday ever!  Perhaps one of the most important outfit decisions we make every year is what to wear to the celebration of our special day. To my fellow Libras out there, you know how indecisive we can be at times, needing to weigh all the options, and before you know it, the aftermath is a stack of clothes on the bed. It is well worth it, however,  when you show up to your party looking this Glam & Sassy.

Nothing II Wear:

Isn’t it funny how we complain we need more closet space for our clothes and are also convinced we have nothing to wear?  Interestingly enough, there is a boutique in La Jolla, CA that is named after this phenomenon. Owner and clothing designer, Summer Albertsen, dresses southern California ladies and the fashionistas who visit our coastal town in the best designers, including her own label, Elizabeth Estaire. Don’t worry if you don’t get to La Jolla because you can check her store out online ! It was at her shop that I found my perfect anchor piece for my birthday outfit. These red jacquard lace shorts are a must have! The pop of color was a nice change from all black and were a fun and flirty alternative to my go to jeans or a dress.  They also allowed me to twirl around on the dancefloor without concern of giving any peep shows. Make sure to rock these fabulous shorts with sky high heels for a look that elongates!

My Birthday Suit:

I styled my jacquard shorts with a black bustier that I got at Nordstrom. I love the design detail of a chiffon neckline that shows just the right amount of sexy without being trashy. The fabric stretches and it zips up the back. It is not an ideal top to get out of by yourself so I made sure that wasn’t going to be an issue (wink wink)   Relax!!!  I was staying at my bff’s so I knew I would have assistance at the end of the night…especially when the end of the night is actually the next morning. Party girl problems.

 

Libra Love:

It was such an amazing birthday as I mentioned thanks to my bestie who also happens to be my Social & Digital Media Manager, Robyn Balliet, owner of robynballiet.com . She has done an incredible job in building brand awareness, increasing my followers, thus increasing my sales.  From the moment I arrived at her door in Beverly Hills, she had balloons, flowers, gifts, champs, cake with a sparkler for a candle, dinner plans and dancing with the rest of our crew. And this went on for THREE days! It was so much fun and you can check out more fun pics on my IG account (Instagram.com/glamandsassy ) and follow Robyn at ( Instagram.com/robynballiet).  I was 100% spoiled and I loved every minute of it! So a very HAPPY BIRTHDAY to all of you lovely, loyal, charming and charismatic Libras! I hope you had a wonderful bday too and let’s make it most Glam & Sassy year ever!

 

 

 

Adorn Yourself

Hello Glam & Sassy loves! One of the best things about working in fashion, besides the clothes, is the wonderful ladies I meet. It also helps being in southern California, where my friend is getting her nails done next to a women who designed couture bedazzled jackets for Beyonce’s Formation tour and season two of The Royals, and, being the fabulous friend that she is, put her in touch with me. That is how business gets done in the Hills of Beverly.  We connected on social media and she saw my Glam & Sassy blog and I saw her gorgeous jewels! It was a match made in Instagram heaven! I  had the pleasure of meeting with Victoria Natkin Goodman of VNG Jewelry and chat about fashion, drink tea and, of course, play dress up !

The Choker Factor:

In the haute couture jewelry world, uniqueness and quality are essential. Victoria’s breathtaking showroom was filled with one of a kind pieces handmade from vintage jewels. Necklaces sparkling with Swarovski crystals, blingy belts, and accessories and jackets that Victoria made for Queen Bey’s VIP inner circle! Amazing! My favorite was the leather chain link that I could style as a bracelet wrapped around my wrist, as a lariat, or a choker.  Victoria gave me one as a gift which I wore out that night in LA. I had on a Free People draped jersey tube top so wearing my new VNG jewelry as a choker was a no brainer. A choker has the ability to transform a 4 into  7 and instantly ups the sexiness factor of any women. Needless to say, I’ll be rocking this as a choker quite often.

 

Cuff Me:

When the lovely Victoria welcomed me into her home, the first thing I noticed were her fabulous set of cuffs. Wow,such a great way to make a statement ! When I slipped them on, they felt as amazing as they looked and I immediately felt more Glam and definitely more sassy! Something else that I learned while visiting with Victoria, was her involvement with Beyonce was through the Bey Good giving back program. Beyonce donated 30 tickets the Vanguard Learning Center to her tour in LA. Victoria also does charity work with children at this center so they collaborated.  With something as hot as these cuffs, it is no wonder it captured the attention of such a hot celeb.

Fit for a Queen:

Are there any Royals fans out there? No, not the basketball team (or is it baseball???) It is a TV series on E!  The VNG Jewelry designs for this show are absolutely perfect for royalty and adorning yourself with these luscious stones would make any commoner feel like a queen.  Victoria will soon be off to London to begin designing for the upcoming season, and I cannot wait to see what she comes up with next.  You can check out her gorgeous gems on Instagram @VNGjewelry and here we are together during a fun photo shoot and looking very Glam & Sassy.

 

 

 

 

Pucker Up

Hello Glam & Sassy loves! If you have been following my blog or my Instagram posts, then it is no secret that I have an addiction.  I have come right out and admitted it many times. Yes, I have a passion for fashion and I definitely  function better after my morning caffeine fix , but my true obsession is much more serious.  The one thing I absolutely CANNOT live without is lipstick.  I have on me, at all times, my lipstick of the day, a backup lipstick and also a gloss to put on in a pinch.  I even keep an extra in my car, in my laptop case, and in my gym bag.  It is safe to assume that I would go into a full on panic mode if ever caught without the slippery feel of something on my lips. So, when I found out that my favorite women’s organization of which I am a proud member, Lipstick Sister, having chapters in LA, San Diego, NYC and DC,  was launching its own line of lip color, my lips began tingling in pure excitement!

I was  ecstatic when my Essential Three lipsticks arrived in a fabulous and flirty pink  package! The lipsticks are beautiful, and they feel wonderful on…so creamy and luxurious! They are the same high quality of any designer brand I have paid much more for in the past! The ingredients are hypo-allergenic and include Vitamin E and natural vanilla extract. The color names are yummy too… Fetching, Hot Tamale, and my personal favorite, Wet Kiss. So delicious! They make me just want to pucker up !

The Essential Three. I never leave home without them.

Aren’t those colors so flattering and fun? By the way, this post is not a product review or an endorsement.  I chose to blog about these lipsticks because I am loving this product and I use them every day.  There is something so empowering about slowly pulling out a compact mirror and applying lipstick like you are Michelangelo painting the Sistine Chapel.  It is a display of confidence and sex appeal and the shy need not “apply” since it is guaranteed to get you attention.  No one can resist sneaking a peek of your perfect pout when you stop everything to make it even prettier. And the best part of all, a percentage of all Lipstick Sister Beauty sales is donated to Becky’s Fund in an effort to eliminate Intimate Partner Violence. Get beautiful and give back! Now that’s a very Glam & Sassy thing to do!

 

Lipstick Sisters. Celebrating and empowering each other!

 

Like what you see? Shop all the tempting lipsticks here ! Enjoy $10 off with my exclusive discount code: Glam&Sassy….and seal it with a kiss!