Ready or Not

Hello Glam & Sassy loves!  Have you ever noticed that we are all looking for the same things in life but at different times?  When my life has been a series of right- place-right-time scenarios all feels right in the world.  When this is not the case, it seems like achieving these things is more of a struggle.  What if while we are waiting for the timing to be right, the very thing we are looking for passes us by?

As an entrepreneur, my business volume is a series of ebbs and flows.  It takes a certain tenacity to withstand these dips and the uncertainty of it all. The reassuring thing is that a lot of it is within my control so it really is up to me how hard I want to hustle. And that’s exactly what I just did.  I cherry picked the most desirable boutique on the most prestigious fashion avenue in the world to work while I continue to grow my own business and make some exciting changes. I knew if I wanted to achieve these goals, there was no time to waste.

So why do we wait until we are “ready” to be in a relationship thinking it will just happen when it is supposed to?  I have started businesses from nothing such as franchises from a signed document and personal styling services in a city where I knew absolutely no one.  With either of these, or even my new amazing job, if I went through the motions of my day thinking these opportunities would just appear, I would have missed out. While I have always been a career driven, self evolving individual, I also realize it is more rewarding when you have someone to share it with and cheer each other on along the way.

The raw truth is this. I want it all. I want the successful career, the fit body, the circle of friends and family…and I put in the work for all of it. None of it just happens.  I also want the guy I am with to be all about me.  You know those movie moments where the couple finally figures it out and ends up together (usually due to one removing one’s head from ass) yeah, that’s what I am holding out for. I want the butterflies, the goose bumps, the heart leaps.  I also want the struggles to overcome, the agreeing to disagree, the “I may not like you but I will always love you” moments.  A true partner to do life with.  So while I won’t settle, I also won’t risk missing him along the way.  Ready or not.

What are your goals and how are you achieving them?  I reply to all comments so feel free to share! Let’s connect on IG @glamandsassy

 

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Stand Out

Social media. Dating apps.  Texting. Sliding into the DM.  Is anyone getting asked out proper anymore? I am (fairly) low maintenance and this is not about expensive dinners and lavish gifts.  In our culture of convenience dating, if you want to stand out , it will take minimal effort.  I know I am not alone feeling this way,  so I’m going to give a few quick tips to help us all out.

1) Hand Gestures: I am all about technology to promote my business and stay top of mind with an occasional flirt, but we all need to remember that the device practically attached to our hands can actually make calls.  If we just met,  how do I know that I want to sacrifice an hour of my life that I will never get back if we have never spoken?  When most guys are just blowing up my texts and DM’s , it is the one who makes the nice gesture and calls who gets my attention.  No pressure to have an extensive conversation as I know we are all way too busy for that, but calling to say hi is such a rare occurrence, it will get you upgraded to weekend plans status.

2) Face Facts:  Face Timing is tricky. While I think it is a “do” after I have been out with someone, and especially important if it is a long distance situation, it can easily be a “don’t”.  I will never understand the random FaceTime attempt  if I am not dating a guy regularly, nor will I ever pick it up.   It is intrusive and, keeping it 100, I may not want you to see me after I just got home from leg day at the gym.

3) WYD:  While I appreciate the interest in my current activity, are actual words too much to ask ?  I am an intelligent woman. I can read. So feel free to spell it out otherwise prepare for an eye roll emoji as my reply.

4)Pic Requests: If I wanted to send them to you, I would have. So if you have to ask, the answer is no.  You will just have to wait until we are together to find out just how perfect they really are.

5)Match my Hustle: There is nothing sexier than a guy who is doing what he loves and making s**t happen. It is also more likely he will understand the demand of what I am doing as well.  I will still let him take the lead and be the man..in fact, I will welcome a break from decision making like where and when to meet.  Also, I love it when a guy is a gentleman and offers to pick me up.  That says a lot about respect level and good intentions. It’s not a deal breaker if I have to Uber myself, but the time in the car is a great opportunity to see if we like the same music. So important!!!

Ok so what are your thoughts on these things? Ladies, do you agree? What would you add to this list? Guys, show of hands, who of you are out there are making these efforts? I can assure you, they will be much appreciated and also rewarded.  But guys, if you are and are not getting these efforts reciprocated, you should keep trying until you find someone who does. xo

Let’s get social! Follow me on Instagram @glamandsassy

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Act your Age

Hello Glam & Sassy loves! I don’t mind being honest about my age and admit that I am not living a life that is typical of someone in their forties. As a single female entrepreneur, my days aren’t scheduled around carpools and soccer games. I have more freedom in that regard and I am very focused, hard working, driven and compassionate.   However, as much as I have tried to stay quiet and at home (aside from working, working out, and the necessary mani/pedi/tan rotation) my infatuation with my city still lures me off of my couch from time to time.  One of those times was this past weekend. I really felt like getting dressed up and getting out.  Did you ever feel like that? It was fun for sure, but I also learned a few things, so now I consider this blog “note to my future self contemplating what to do on a Friday”.

The night started off like every other. Gym, shower , get ready, change outfits five times then switching to my evening handbag before heading out the door. With my beautiful bestie in tow, we went to our  favorite spot, Mastro’s,  to grab a cocktail and light dinner at the bar. It has such fun energy and cool vibes and we always manage to meet new friends.  Mastro’s is in Beverly Hills and we live here so everyone wants to talk to us. The fact that my BFF is blonde, funny, smart and gorgeous may also have something to do with it! The night could have ended after our yummy salads and the best dirty martinis in LA at the respectful hour of 11ish. But it didn’t. We got an invite with our new friends to go to a club and maybe it was the martinis talking, but we said a resounding YES and with that we were out way past my current bedtime of 10 o’clock .  There was even a Taco Bell pit stop on the way home even though no tacos were actually eaten. The next day while struggling on the stair master,  I made some silent observations to myself.

Mastro’s martini and my fun Louis Vuitton handbag

Observation #1: Expensive silk blouses and nightclubs don’t mix.  My final outfit choice was based on dinner and drinks out at a classy establishment. No where in my future did I see myself pushing my way through crowds of twenty somethings until 2am.  Yet there  was my luxurious black silk top on the floor next to my YSL heels with spill marks on the back. Luckily, I have a great dry cleaner that will remedy that.  However, I should have worn something that I have from H&M that is a bit more disposable.

The before photo of my fave silk blouse from W by Worth.

Observation #2: If your age starts with a “2” I am NOT interested.  Some women may find this flattering. I find it absurd. I realize I was out among the Millennials, however, I was there with a group of friends my own age…ok close enough to  my own age.  The same applies for dating apps , which, for the record, is the reason I am not on any of them. My age is right there in black and white, boys. Pay attention and while I am sure you are mature for your age as you all claim to be, I do not have any desire to find out. Act your age and I’ll (try) to act mine.

Observation #3: Upon waking up, immediately review your Instagram story.  This is very important. As the night goes on, content seems more post worthy than it actually is.  It is never anything inappropriate as I always keep a clear head no matter how late I stay out. But the roses purchased by the random guy from the vendor outside of the venue need not be documented. Especially since they didn’t even make it home with me and I don’t even know his name.   (notice no photo insert here of meaningless flowers)

So, as another weekend approaches, I look forward to time with my girlfriends and getting outside to enjoy a hike or the beach.  Sadly, I don’t have my dog to walk anymore. She was the best reason and reminder to get me out from in front of my computer and outside a few times a day. I still need to do that even though she is gone and I am making that my latest effort in dealing with her passing.  And the next time I am out for a classy dinner , I will be sure not to end up at Taco Bell.

I miss walking in Beverly Hills with my pup

What lessons are you learning as you go through life especially if you are single in a city? I would love to hear about it and compare even if your zip code isn’t 90210.  Let’s get social! Find me on Instagram @glamandsassy !

 

 

Simple Math

Hello Glam & Sassy loves.   I came across an interesting quote online that said “When things aren’t adding up, it’s time to start subtracting”.  I have been giving this a lot of thought lately. As it turns out, I have subtracted a few things from my life, and a few things have been subtracted from my life.  That may sound like the same thing, but I assure you , it is not.  The act of doing the subtracting holds much more power and control than having something taken away.

If you read my last blog, and thank you to the many amazing friends and followers who did , then you know I recently had to say goodbye to my dog. Yes I am still writing about her and no I am not over that yet.  Just as there is an equation that it takes half the time you were with someone to get over them in a breakup,  I am pretty sure the same holds true for pets… and probably even longer because their love is so pure.  Since my dog was almost seventeen, which in human years is over 100, I will no longer be alive by the time I no longer miss her. Simple math.

On the other hand, choosing to subtract something is liberating and puts you in control of purging the unnecessary chaos in life.  It has been helpful to eliminate anything that no longer serves me or my goals.  However, first I needed to define what my  goals are so I can determine what is contributing versus taking away from them. I am going through an awesome challenge called “Life on Fire” . I took a step believing in the power of visualization and made my first vision board. I felt silly at first as I flipped through a stack of fashion and lifestyle magazines , but couldn’t help but notice the congruency of the words and images that resonated with me and how they all fit together into my big picture. It is now clear when I am engaging in something (or someone) that doesn’t fit into one of those buckets and bid it farewell with confidence. The attention that these things require become an energy suck and I don’t know about you, but I do not have any extra energy to be donating. I now reserve my positivity and loving spirit for family, friends, clients, peers, the stranger on the street who returns my smile… anyone who reciprocates and appreciates.

Vision board in the making = goals about to be achieved

In  my personal life, I was scuba diving in the dating pool.  It was fun but now it doesn’t fit my vision of who I am and who I want to share myself with.  I was married young so I was reliving lost years but at what risk? The risk of losing more valuable time? The math is simple. When I decided to be done with all that, it opened up my heart and mind for the right guy when he comes.  In my professional life, I am at a crossroads which I did not see coming and had no control over, but instead of freaking out (which I ABSOLUTELY did at first) , I see it as an exciting opportunity to set new goals and crush them. I have done this before. Twice. I just had to remind myself of that.

Glam and Sassy fashion show team-GOAL CRUSHED

Featured 5 page article in Entrepreneur Magazine-GOAL CRUSHED

 

In summation,  one disenchanted relationship  + one painful goodbye to my pup+one lost business opportunity = zero tolerance for wasted energy.  Math was never my forte. Until now.

 

Do you have a vision board? I’d love to hear how you are achieving your goals.  Let’s connect on Instagram @glamandsassy